Wednesday, May 27, 2009

learning to breathe

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

i've always loved these verses, but always found them challenging. i mean, think about it: "always," "without ceasing," "in everything." seems a little extreme and unattainable. the devo i read yesterday gave me a little different perspective on it. still challenging, but makes a little more sense.

"Our thinking about prayer, whether right or wrong, is based on our own mental conception of it. The correct concept is to think of prayer as the breath in our lungs and the blood from our hearts. Our blood flows and our breathing continues "without ceasing"; we are not even conscious of it, but it never stops. And we are not always conscious of Jesus keeping us in perfect oneness with God, but if we are obeying Him, He always is." ~Oswald Chambers

so this is what mom feels like...

so, my 20-yr old little brother is living with me this summer while he does film internships here in austin. i love having him here, but i just had a taste of what my mother has gone through for the past 33 years. he's working on a film shoot down in smithville, which is over an hour away, so he gets home pretty late at night. i knew he would be home extra late last night, so i didn't wait up for him. but then i woke up at 3:45 and couldn't remember hearing him come in. i couldn't get back to sleep until i knew if he was here or not, so i went to investigate. my first clue was that the toilet seat was still down. then, that his car wasn't out front where it usually is. so i checked his room. not there. enter panic: "aaahhh! my little brother is out there smeared on the highway somewhere and i've just been sleeping away without a care in the world!" (well, i wasn't really panicked, just a little worried). so i called him, found out he was ok, and went back to bed. and couldn't get back to sleep. which is why i'm blogging at 4:15 AM. *sigh* i love you Jesse.